This happens all the time. Every car horn, every whistle, every cat call and lewd exclamation, strengthens the lesson I’ve been taught over and over and over again throughout my entire life: as a lady, my body is on public display and open for judgment—from anyone.
Most men who will see this are decent, rational guys who will sympathize with my feelings. A small, vocal handful of dudes will send me private messages about how women like me can’t “take a fucking compliment.” This is not for either of you. This is for the guys who don’t know yet that attracting unwanted attention doesn’t make women feel good, no matter how nice their intentions are. I can’t speak for everyone, but I can say that I personally get embarrassed, often scared, and always—ALWAYS—ashamed, in some way, in how I look.
So… now that you know, cut it out. Tell all the girls how nice they are and how amazing they are at their jobs instead.
this sort of thing happens to me all the time as i walk around town and it just completely bums my day.
i really dont understand this. yea im a guy and i grew up in a different world. but i try to make sense of it but i just cant. on one hand, theres a lot of controversy about the model image and the high standards that are imposed upon women by society. and on the other theres controversy about objectifying women and only looking at their physical attributes instead of who they really are as a whole. so with both of these topics, the goal is to get girls and even people in general to be proud of their bodies, no matter what shape size or color they are right? if a girl like in this comic is proud and comfortable with her body, she shouldnt be ashamed to be called out in such a rude way right? i mean, then theres slut shaming, which could account for the embarrassment, but that just means theres both a pressure to be sexy, and a pressure to not be slutty. so i guess i answered my own question haha. ughh double standards all over the place. but my confusion really just stems from personal experience, where: i get dressed up and fancy for the night, and i feel really good about myself (which is really just a projection of what society has taught me is good looking), and i go out and receive compliment, i feel even better about myself. and even some of the lewd or rude comments or butt grabbing that goes on, maybe i feel a bit uncomfortable because i have personal boundaries, but i still take the compliment for what it is. an expression of attraction. perhaps im more forgiving simply because my self esteem is intrinsically low. and maybe there are some more complicated forces at work when its from a man to a woman because of the illusion of power between genders and whatnot, but its still damn confusing. idk, all im saying is we should live in a world where this doesnt embarrass girls or make them ashamed, and the only way to do that is to instill confidence in our children to be as expressive as they want….even if we as the older generation think its slutty or racy. /rant
am i missing the point?
Yes. Yes you are. Because they’re not complementing us. They are objectifying us. We’re not even women at that point. We are a piece of meat to them.
Yeah excuse me if I’m not flattered by a guy yelling about my body parts from his car, much less when he does it to every girl he passes. And excuse me if I don’t like walking alone on the street and knowing that there are, I guess you could say, predators around me, examining me like that. There’s nothing about being whistled at from a car, groped, or eyed like a piece of meat, that I will ever have a reason to take as a compliment. It makes me feel unsafe and like I’m not even worth being treated as a fucking human being. Excuse me if I’m not fucking flattered by that.
Complimenting someone’s physical appearance isn’t a bad thing. Forgetting that they’re a person and disrespecting them and acting like they’re just on display for you to drool over is another.
Like I’m sorry but what I don’t understand as a girl, is like…if you honestly want to compliment someone, do you seriously fucking think that whistling at them and making inappropriate gestures or comments, especially if they’re alone, is going to make them feel comfortable, let alone flattered?
Actually, I find it flattering if either gender shows sexual interest in me. It’s not a big deal. If someone wants a fuck, either ignore them or go for it. It is natural for humans to want to have sex with other humans. I swear to god feminists get worse every day.